Afraid to Hope (Secrets & Seduction) Read online

  He placed the patties and salad on the picnic table, and passed back inside. He was gone briefly, and she took another sip of her beer, enjoying the night sounds of the crickets, and cicadas that made a racket close to the water. Even though it was just seven, it was nearly full dark now. The light from the back of the cabin showed they were on a canal and the slow moving water gleamed in the beam of light cast by the moon.

  Jay returned carrying plates, condiments, rolls and dressing for the salad. “Set up the table for me will you, while I get the grill working.” He gave her a smile as he set the ingredients down on the picnic table.

  “Sure, no problem,” she stated and got to work on his request while he continued on to the grill. “It’s nice here. It has to be great having this privacy, and also being on the water and having this great deck.”

  “Yeah, I love the peace and quiet,” he agreed, his back turned from her working the grill, igniting it and cleaning it.

  When he was done with the grill and shut the lid to let the racks heat up, he turned to her, and seeing her sitting on his deck, at his table, looking so at ease, gave his heart a bit of a jolt. She was gorgeous, he had to admit. Not the exotic type of gorgeous, or made up gorgeous, but a classic beauty. She wore very little make-up, and he found that refreshing. She was different then the girls he usually slept with. They were usually biker girls, and bar flies he picked up when he hung out with the friends he had made in Florida. He knew she was a bit older than him, and he knew she probably thought he was older than his twenty-nine years. His had a bit of premature grey, and sun weathered face had aged him these past two years. He hoped the age difference didn’t bother her. He wanted to get that out of the way, didn’t want it to be a barrier.

  “Lou, how old are your?” he asked as he sat down at the table across from her.

  “Thirty-five, thirty-six in April. You?” she asked unfazed and unashamed of his question.

  “Twenty-nine.” Her eyes widened a bit and he smiled in response. ““I’ll be thirty soon.” She played with her beer bottle nervously. “It’s just a number,” he added.

  “That’s okay,” she lied. He could see it bothered her when she didn’t meet his gaze.

  “It is okay,” he stated getting up, coming to stand on front of her. Age didn’t matter, and it was only five, six years. The chemistry between them couldn’t be denied. She looked up then, and he saw the insecurity in her eyes. “You’re stunning, Lou.” He held out his hand, and she took a hold of it, and she stood as he tugged on it. He pulled her into his chest, and the air crackled as their bodies made contact. All the air Lou had in her lungs left her body in a whoosh.

  His head dipped down, and she closed her eyes just before his lips pressed hers gently. His lips were soft, moist, with just a hint of the beer they had consumed. She felt his tongue slide along her lips and it tingled, and she opened them slightly, and he took the opportunity as an invitation. He so wanted to invade, and plunder her sweet little mouth, but something inside him told him that he needed to take it slow with this one. He wasn’t a patient man, but he held back, but not before savoring her just a little more. It was a first kiss, one meant to tease, and leave a good impression. He knew he did it well. He’d never had any complaints before.

  He knew she was melting, softening. He could probably have her now, he thought, when she began to make those soft little murmurs of pleasure. She had relaxed in his arms and was giving back in the kiss, responding to him. But he had made that promise, and although his cock was pressed up against her stomach and she was standing on tiptoe to slide her torso across it creating the most delicious of friction, he slowly began to withdraw. Not yet, he told himself. Take it slow. You are trying something new with this one, he told himself.

  When the kiss ended, Lou was a tad bit disappointed and a bit frustrated. It had been awhile since she had been with a man, and no one had ever kissed her like that. The heat between them, the sensations he had evoked had her nipples hard, and she knew she was wet. She was just about to jump up and wrap her legs around him when she felt his slow withdrawal.

  “That was nice, Lou,” he murmured resting his chin on the top of her head. He still held her, as she caught her breath.

  Her answer was a sigh and soft, “Yes, yes it was.”

  “Age means nothing, baby, when we have chemistry like this. There will be more of that later, I promise,” he stated as he released her, and her arms dropped to her sides. “Let me get the burgers on the grill,” he said and took a step back. Louisa swayed slightly and he reached for her arms to steady her. “Yes, definitely,” his voice was sultry. “I promise there will be more of that later.” He winked lasciviously and turned when she blushed at the intensity in his gaze.

  “Can I do anything?” she asked when she found she was able to speak again.

  “Not a thing. Just sit and relax, Lou. Finish your beer,” he stated as he turned to the grill, opening the lid, and using the metal brush to clean it one more time.

  Lou watched him work. He was quick and efficient. He wasted no time and put the burgers on the grill, closed the lid and turned back to her. Taking a long drink of his beer, he smiled at her, and the smile brought back the butterflies she had every time she had seen him, every time he looked at her that way. “Can I get you another?” she asked as he finished his beer.

  “No, that’s okay. I have to drive you back to your car in a bit, and I don’t like to drink too much anyway. You can get me a bottle of water though.”

  “Sure,” she replied standing up and as she passed he purposefully blocked her path, and when she looked up he stooped to kiss her on the nose. It was nothing sexual, but it was intimate at the same time.

  “There will be a next time, Lou.” It was stated simply, yet his words held a promise. One that she definitely hoped would come to fruition.

  Her response was a smile as she passed around him and made her way through the sliding glass doors. Once in the kitchen she took two bottles of water from the refrigerator, and when she was back outside he was at the grill flipping the burgers. “I like them medium well, you?” he called behind him.

  “Yes, the same,” she responded. She sat back down at the picnic table and quickly finished her beer, and then uncapped her bottle of water taking a sip.

  Jay stood at the grill watching her. “So, Lou. What do you do?” he asked in an attempt to make casual conversation.

  “I work at NAMI.” His eyes widened at her response. She continued. “I am a billing and coding specialist, and office manager, but I also do some reception work as well.”

  “Nice. You like it there?” he asked calmly. NAMI, holy shit, he thought. Small world.

  “Yes, I do. I have only been working there a few months. I enjoy it. I also like the doctors I work with. Their patients are so appreciative, and the doctors really help them.”

  “That’s great. I like that you like to help people that suffer from mental disorders or ailments. It says a lot about you.”

  Lou blushed again at his praise. “Thank-you,” she stammered taking another sip of her water. The fact that he knew NAMI helped people suffering from mental health issues, took her by surprise. “You have heard of NAMI?” she asked curiously.

  “Yeah, sure.” Jay stammered and then added quickly, “It has gotten several good write ups in the paper. I read an article about a big fundraiser they just did to help the local Veterans.”

  Before Lou could respond Jay turned once again, and looking at the burgers pronounced them ready. He set them on a plate and brought them over to the table.

  “I’m starved, let’s dig in.” He offered the plate of hamburgers to her and she stabbed one with her fork. They both proceeded to prepare themselves a hamburger and heaped some salad onto their plates as well.

  Jay took a big bite of his burger and Lou followed suit. After she had chewed and swallowed, with him watching her closely, she murmured. “This is great. I love food on the grill. It gives it such flavor.”
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br />   “Me too,” he stated before taking another bite.

  “So, Jay, I know you work at the flea market selling t-shirts. Have you been doing that long?” she asked wanting to learn more about this interesting man.

  He smiled and gave a slight snort. “About two years. It pays the bills. I love the slogans though,” he smiled suggestively looking down at his shirt.

  Lou laughed. Fourteen Inches, huh? “They do make a statement.”

  “I only wear the ones I believe in.” He winked. His shirt referenced his size. A size she thought was quite impossible if she was being honest. Fourteen inches? Couldn’t be. In her experience, never.

  “Braggart,” she teased.

  “Not bragging, baby.” His look was fierce. “You’ll see.” His look was another dare. How did he do that, she wondered?

  Lou’s response was to swallow the rest of the food in her mouth before she choked on it.

  He laughed again. “To answer your question, though. I work there on weekends. I was in the army, and when my tour was up, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I finally figured it out though with some advice and guidance. I am actually in school right now studying to become an airplane mechanic. I graduate at the end of the year, in six months actually. I am doing my internship at the Brooksville-Tampa Bay Airport. I work there three days a week, unpaid, of course. The military is helping to pay for my schooling, and the t-shirts, well, they pay the bills until I graduate.”

  “Oh really,” Lou responded intrigued. He had been in the military, and now was going to be a mechanic. “That’s cool that you are going back to school. I did the same thing, going back to school later in life. The military though?” she asked fascinated. Her dad had been in Vietnam. She knew all about military life.

  His look went far away for a moment. “Yeah, I did two years from two thousand and two to two thousand and four. I was in the War in Iraq, the second one. I don’t like to talk about it much. Short war, but I was there for the occupation as well.”

  “I understand,” Lou nodded and confided, “My dad was in Nam. My brother was in the military as well. He didn’t serve overseas though.” He nodded, and they both let that part of the conversation go. Lou knew not to press. To Jay, her eyes said she understood. It pleased him that she didn’t ask anything else.

  They finished their meal, and then worked together in silence to clean up. When everything was done, he locked up the house, and Lou followed him back to his bike underneath the car port. He didn’t get on right away though and turned to her suddenly. “How about a little more of what I promised earlier?” he asked.

  Lou saw the fire in his eyes. She felt the heat between them flare, and when he stooped again and pulled her into his arms, she didn’t resist. She was more than willing. This time, however, it was no gentle kiss. He plunged his tongue into her mouth, and the frustration she had felt earlier was quickly swept away by the passion he evoked in her. His tongue tangled with hers, and she felt his hand slide up her rib cage to cup her breast. She heard his groan and felt his erection again as he took a step back and she was pushed up against the stacked washing machine and dryer that sat underneath his carport. This time she did not hesitate. She wanted to feel more of him. She jumped and wrapped her legs around his torso so she could feel all of him. His shirt wasn’t lying as far as she could tell by the massive ridge pressed up against her. His cock was pressed up against her core and it flooded her with heat. As she pushed into him, he pushed back, grinding his cock into her sweet heat. The urge to gyrate against it overtook her, and she had no control over her mind in this moment. Her body needed to feel him.

  He must have needed the same thing. She felt his hand on her breast begin to massage her flesh, and then he soon had the nipple erect under his touch over her shirt.

  Feeling the diamond hardness, Jay flicked his finger over her nipple enticing it to further harden. He pinched it through the cloth as his tongue battled with hers. She arched her back to feel more of him. God, she wanted this. She wanted him. His mouth left hers, and she yearned for it, until his mouth settled on her breast over her shirt. She tried to move her shirt aside for him.

  “No,” he murmured and pushed her hand away. “If I see your tits. I won’t be able to stop myself. God, I know they are going to be gorgeous.”

  “But . . .”

  Her complaint was lost as his teeth nipped her through her shirt. He was going to leave a wet mark there, but she didn’t care. It felt amazing even though she craved complete contact.

  “Oh, yes,” she moaned. She was so wet. She wouldn’t have been able to stop him if he wanted more. Subconsciously she ground into him harder, trying to achieve the release she so desperately craved.

  Jay knew she was his for the taking. Her nipples on point, at attention through her shirt were rock hard. He could feel the heat coming off of her through her panties, and he used one hand to push aside the little strip of cloth that covered her pussy. He touched her, and God, she was so wet even though he hadn’t felt inside yet. “Oh, Jay,” she moaned and tensed.

  “Shh, baby. Let me do this for you,” he encouraged. He moved his hand away and pushed his cock onto her pussy through his jeans, and rubbed himself on her. The tightness there, in his pants, had him uncomfortable, but he wanted to please her, have her coming back for more.

  He put one hand under her rear to keep her steady, and put her back fully against the washer-dryer combo. The panties had come in the way again, and he pulled them to the side once more. He dipped his head to her breast and teased each nipple with his teeth, as his other hand found her folds and he began to tenderly part them. His mouth then left her breast, and he saw that her shirt was wet with his saliva. He could see the bud through the white material, and shut his eyes to the site. Lou panted and with her eyes half-closed he could tell she was close. He wanted to give her this, give her that release. He took her mouth again and pressed her body more firmly against the appliances behind her, and now with both hands free he was able to roam. He held her ass and squeezed it while supporting her weight. She was as light as a feather to him. He used his other hand to stroke up along her inner thigh, then back to her wet pussy now open to him. When his fingers touched her clit for the first time, her eyes flew open. Not breaking the eye contact he circled it, once, twice, and watched her in fascination as her eyes glazed over in passion. He slid two very long fingers inside her.

  “Oh,” she breathed and her eyes slowly shut as he pushed deeper into her slick heat. Louisa pushed herself deeper onto him wanting to feel the hardness of him, but needing to be satisfied by those fingers as well. He used his hand like a gun, and her clit already swollen and engorged was ready for him. He used his thumb to circle and circle her delicate flesh. He felt the skin pull back from it, and she began to rock her hips and gyrate from side to side. He felt the walls of her pussy begin to shudder and quake and close around him.

  “Yes, oh yes. Jay,” she panted breathlessly. Her head flung back and turned to the side as she got closer and closer to the precipice.

  He nuzzled her exposed neck, nipping at it with his teeth. “Come for me, baby,” he whispered seductively close to her ear.

  Lou had never experienced such exquisite torture. This man knew what he was doing. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” she moaned as she felt the walls of her pussy begin to clench around him. His fingers played her like a violin. He withdrew his fingers and plunged again, and again, three times, then found her core with his thumb, and rubbed it senseless.

  “Come for me, Lou,” he whispered again. And oh my God, did she. She exploded around those fingers deep inside her. She clenched him with her legs like miniature vises, and pushed into his hand, as wave after intense wave sent bolts of electricity to her nipples, and then she sagged against him putting her head on his shoulder. He held her while she caught her breath, and he soothed her until her heart beat returned to normal. Lou, felt a wave of emotion for this bear of a man, the stranger that had just rocked her world. She was in
shock that she had let it go this far, this fast, but something in her heart told her he was going to be worth it.

  “You okay?” he asked as he gently pulled her panties into place, and then set her down.

  Lou didn’t know why she suddenly felt shy, and could not meet his gaze. She pulled her skirt down to disguise her nervousness. “Yes. I am fine. Thank-you.”

  Jay had to laugh. “That’s a first. No one has ever thanked me for that. I could get used to that.” Lou laughed nervously. He turned and grabbed her helmet and handed it to her. “Come on, Louisa. You don’t want your dog to pee on the carpet.”

  Lou suddenly remembered her dog. She felt guilty for forgetting about her. It had been easy to forget after what she had just experienced. “Missy,” she gasped as she reached for the helmet. She quickly placed the helmet on, and fastened the snap. Like a gentleman, he helped to seat her again.

  Thirty minutes later she was back at her car, and she was watching the taillights of his motorcycle in the distance. Yup, she thought to herself with a smile as she clutched her cell phone to her chest, she would definitely be calling him again. Jay had taken her phone from her and programmed his number in himself. When she could not see the lights any longer she looked down at her phone and couldn’t help but laugh at the name he had typed in her contacts instead of his own. Ten Inches.

  Lou sipped her coffee the next morning while recalling the events of the previous evening. In the light of early dawn, Louisa began to have some doubts about her rash behavior, but then again Jay had been quite the gentleman afterwards, and reassured her he would like to see her again. He had even sent a text last night telling her that he enjoyed getting to know her. Lou put her cup of coffee down on the outdoor table on Ana’s deck. She watched Missy run about in the back yard, her golden retriever sniffing the plants, grass and trees looking for just the right spot to take care of her morning business. Lou enjoyed the quiet mornings to herself, it gave her time to think, and she had a lot on her mind this particular morning.