Beautiful Regret Read online

  Beautiful Regret Copyright © 2015 MJ Nightingale

  Published by MJ Nightingale

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

  This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

  Published: MJ Nightingale April, 2015: [email protected]

  Editing: Keriann McKenna

  Cover Design © Melissa Gill at MG BookCovers

  Formatting by: Brenda Wright

  This book is intended for a mature audience of eighteen and older.

  For my dad. I never stop thinking about you.

  I miss you.

  I regret not visiting more.

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Prologue – The Past Comes Back to Haunt You

  Chapter 1 – To Hell and Back Again

  Chapter 2 – Running Late

  Chapter 3 – Making Bond

  Chapter 4 – The Truth Hurts

  Chapter 5 – Fighting Demons

  Chapter 6 – Explanations

  Chapter 7 – Worries

  Chapter 8 – Fighting the Pull

  Chapter 9 – Digging Into the Past

  Chapter 10 – Going Down That Road Again

  Chapter 11 – A Dream Deferred

  Chapter 12 – TMI

  Chapter 13 – Fathers & Sons

  Chapter 14 – Take Me to . . . Bed

  Chapter 15 – The Search for the Truth Begins

  Chapter 16 – What Gio Wants

  Chapter 17 – One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

  Chapter 18 – The Noose Tightens

  Chapter 19 – The Next Steps

  Chapter 20 – Oh, Brother

  Chapter 21 – Family

  Chapter 22 – Dark Places

  Chapter 23 – Misunderstood

  Chapter 24 – Family Time

  Chapter 25 – La Vida Loca

  Chapter 26 – Burns

  Chapter 27 – Always Have a Plan B

  Chapter 28 – Master’s Orders

  Chapter 29 – Time for Plan B

  Chapter 30 – Stings Like a Bee

  Chapter 31 – All or Nothing

  Chapter 32 – A Life Worth Living

  Epilogue – A Month Later . . .

  Sneak Peek: From Beautiful No More – Book 4 of The Bounty Hunters: The Marino Bros.

  More Books by MJ Nightingale

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Gio Marino walked steadily into the very familiar prison. He'd been here many times before when he'd been a detective for the Manhattan Police Department. Too numerous to count. The last time was three years ago. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  Then, he'd been there to question criminals, but this time it was different. Very different. Not only was he no longer a detective, now he was here to bail someone out. Well, listen to someone who wanted to be bailed out. He still wasn't sure if he would be helping this person.

  Even though a lot of years, eight of them, had passed since he'd seen Mrs. Lisa Rasmussen, there was still a lot of bad blood between them as far as he was concerned. The incident that caused the bad blood happened ten years ago, so even longer. Even a decade later, he knew he couldn't forgive this woman for what she'd done to him. She’d nearly destroyed him.

  Lisa Raphael, then, left him high and dry. She’d broken his heart by eloping with another man, a very rich man. A hard working policeman, Gio was on his way to being a detective, hadn't been good enough for her apparently. That and the fact that he wasn't Jewish, he supposed. Her family never approved of him, wanted her to marry within their faith even though they had been neighbors and childhood sweethearts. At sixteen he'd finally worked up the courage to take her to the junior prom, and afterwards it had been a rocky tumultuous whirlwind romance. They'd weathered high school drama, her parents objections in the beginning, him going to the police academy, she college, and just when it seemed they could start a life together, she'd gone away on a family trip and come back Mrs. Lisa Rasmussen, married to one Albert Rasmussen, heir to the Rasmussen antique car dealership empire. The richest family in their zip code.

  There had been no warning. He'd showed up at her house, and Albert stood behind her gloating and asking for his congratulations on their nuptials. Gio turned and walked away without a word, expecting to never see her again.

  But he had. She showed up at his parents’ funeral two years later. When she tried to express her condolences to him for his loss, saying she loved them too, he'd walked out of the funeral parlor and waited in the parking lot until she left.

  Now eight years later, she calls him out of the blue. She tells him she's in Rikers, accused of trying to kill her husband, Albert. She didn't do it, she says. Please come listen to her, hear her out. She's got no one else to help her.

  He wanted to let her rot in jail. Burn. But he couldn't. He knew she had a kid. A boy. He'd heard about it through the neighborhood grapevine at a block party. Normally people didn't mention Lisa when he was around, but he'd overheard, left the party, and drank himself into a stupor imagining her swollen with someone else’s child when it should have been his.

  But even though he despised her, he also knew she wasn't a killer. At least he thought he knew that much. But, he'd been wrong about her before.

  "She's in there, Gio," the guard pointed to her through the glass window they passed. She sat in the visitor’s room where other inmates in prison garb talked with family or their attorneys.

  "Thanks, Sammy," Gio remarked. Sammy was a guard who'd worked at Riker’s all his life. Gio had known him since his early years as detective.

  "Nice seeing you, Gio. Tell Andy I said hello."

  "Will do," he said as Sammy tapped the bullet proof glass and the guard on the inside pushed the button to let him into the entryway.

  Gio stepped inside. This guard he didn't recognize. He signed in, and the guard nodded to where Lisa sat underneath a small high window. She was slumped over, pale cheek pressed against one hand. He couldn't see her face, but her hair, the palest of oranges could not be mistaken. She was a true ginger. When she was a child he'd teased her about her freckles and made her cry, but he'd dreamt about kissing them when he was fifteen, each and every one, amongst other things.

  Despite the fact that he thought he hated her, he felt something painful twist his heart seeing her like this. She'd gone from the sweet, funny tom-girl next door who would follow him and Andreas around, to the first girl in the neighborhood with boobs, to the cheerleader with the long legs that never ended, and finally, his girl. But then she became Mrs. Rasmussen. Untouchable high society lady who did volunteer work leaving behind her job as a kindergarten teacher to live in the lap of luxury.

  When she fell from grace, she fell hard.

  The guard waved his wand, the one to detect any metal objects, up and down Gio, and Gio instinctively raised his arms. This had been the third and final security check. Another door opened and then he was in the same r
oom with her, but she still didn't turn and look his way. He was forty five minutes late. She'd probably given up looking for him awhile back. Inmates were allowed to wait an entire hour for their visitors.

  He cleared his throat, and took two steps toward her when she finally turned from looking up at the cloudless sky. Her green eyes flecked with gold, like a cat, spotted him right away. Those eyes had haunted him. Those eyes hadn't changed. She attempted to get up, but could not. She was chained to the table, and sat back down.

  When he was just a few feet away, she spoke. "Thank you for coming, Gio. I know you didn't have to, and probably didn’t want to, but I'm glad you did."

  He slid onto the seat across from her. "Yes. I'm here." It was all he could manage to get out.

  "I have a lot to atone for, Gio. I hope you'll listen. And if you don't want to help me when I'm done, I'll understand." Her eyes didn’t waver. She watched for signs.

  "Fine," was his monosyllabic response.

  Lisa completely understood. She had destroyed this man's life once and there was no way she could ever rectify or make up for the past. Reaching out to him for help was the last thing she wanted to do but she needed him now. He had a right to know everything, her secrets, and she had plenty of them in her closet. Desperate to be out on bond, she had to get her son out of the clutches of a monster—her husband, Albert—who accused her of trying to kill him. Now she was in prison for attempted murder but she swore she was innocent. For her son, for Johnny she would beg, plead, and kill if she had too. If Albert was bent on revenge, there was no one to protect Johnny from Albert's temper and cruelty. She needed to protect her son...and Gio's.

  Gio sat on the plane returning to Tampa, and contemplated all he learned from Lisa. His mind was boggled by everything she revealed to him. The only problem was he had doubts about trusting her. Should he? Could he? Those were tough questions. Real tough.

  She'd betrayed him once already.

  Was what she told him merely lies and manipulations to get him to help her? It all seemed so farfetched. Her life with Albert had been horrific if he was to take her at her word. Could any of it be true? Even a portion of it?

  Lisa had left him ten years ago with not so much as a hint that she was even interested in Albert Rasmussen. Yes, he was the neighborhood golden boy. The heir to a fortune. And she had embraced that lifestyle. Immediately after the marriage, reporters had flashed their pictures all over The New York Times, The Globe, and The World. Lisa was seen on Albert’s arm in every Sunday paper on the society pages for nearly three months, rubbing salt into the wound. The paparazzi loved her. She did charity work, made the rounds of the high society circles, was seen at all the right clubs, and events. To him, lost in a bottle, she'd seemed happy and enjoying her new life in Manhattan. Forgotten was Rosedale, and the people she'd left behind. Gone were her memories of him, them.

  But she'd weaved a different tale to him while sitting in that orange jumpsuit in prison. Just how much of it was true?

  The story had all spilled out during that meeting at Riker’s. Lisa claimed she married Albert because her father had been bankrupt. The house lost in gambling, her father’s job and reputation on the line and her two younger sisters left to be raised and put through college still. Albert’s parents had arranged it. It seemed their golden child succumbed to temptations and was caught up in a raid of a club that catered to sexual fantasies. They had offered her father a deal. It was marry Albert, or her father’s dirty little secrets be aired publicly destroying his career in the civil service; he would lose his pension and their home. His wife, already working two jobs to make ends meet, couldn't be pushed further. She was at the breaking point of physical and mental exhaustion. The deal would help both families out of a desperate situation, but Lisa had been the sacrificial lamb.

  He'd remained mute during her telling of the story. More so because he was shocked into silence at first than anything else. If it was true, he couldn’t believe she had cast him aside, even for this. It wasn’t a choice he would have made. Many families had their share of bad luck. Her father could have found other work. She could have worked as well to help them out financially. She was close to getting her degree. He just watched her, eyes narrowing, as she told her tale. And he'd said nothing.

  She'd rushed in her explanation that the marriage was supposed to have been annulled after a year. Albert’s parents wanted their son married off quickly. She hadn't known about that part of the story until later.

  Apparently rumors surfaced that Albert was into some peculiar activities. His marriage was meant to quell those rumors. But when the year was over, Albert wouldn't let her go. She'd gotten pregnant. He wouldn't allow the marriage to be terminated. Her eyes shifted away from Gio’s then, but she continued.

  Gio watched her when she spoke off her child; Johnny was his name. He heard the pride in her voice.

  But, her eyes flashed desperation when she revealed her next bombshell. Albert’s peculiar sexual addictions had made him become a violent man. He was a dominant, and a sadist, she claimed. His partners, when she refused to meet his needs, had included both men and woman, but he had been more careful after she refused to play his games.

  When Gio shook his head, she must have taken it for disgust. Under the table, Gio’s hands fisted. The thought of someone touching her that way threatened to make him lose it, but he held his cool, and his face resumed its mask. At first Albert barely touched her, but after giving birth, his attempts at sharing the marital bed became more forthcoming, harsher and insistent. Definitely more sadistic. She'd tried to leave him. Twice. Gio would have to check out her story. So far it had been incredulous, shocking, and quite detailed.

  Lisa took advantage of his quiet. She explained that Albert’s father had bought up his markers at Mystic Nights Casino in Connecticut, and Harrah’s in Atlantic City. Albert Senior had her father over the proverbial barrel. He held the title to their family home and unless she stayed married to him to keep the rumor mill at bay, they would be kicked onto the streets and her sister’s college tuition payments would cease. And then there was Johnny. Albert’s parents constantly threatened to sue for custody, and the power they wielded terrified her. Their empire extended beyond the classic automobile trade, and they owned several commercial and rental properties in Manhattan, inherited and passed down along three generations of Rasmussen’s. They knew congressmen, senators, the mayor, and their social circle included blue bloods of New York, and Supreme Court justices.

  Albert had threatened too. If she resisted him in any way, he threatened her. He even insinuated a few of Johnny's childhood accidents may not have been accidents. She had been young, naïve, terrified, and in way over her head.

  For a while, she had complied. She became fearful and submissive. She pulled out of the social scene keeping her eyes on Johnny's every move. She succumbed to Albert’s whims at night. It had been hell. But for Johnny, for her parents, and sisters, she had endured.

  For Gio, every word had been torture. He'd held up his hand at that point in her telling of it. "I can't hear about this now. I have enough to absorb." There was so much more he could have said, but this story, well, it was not actually something you could prepare yourself for. She had never let on to him, had never tried. What she had gone through sounded like she had been to hell and back, but why she went through with it all still baffled him. Her parents and her sisters had not been her responsibility. She had always been rash, brazen, but by not confiding in him, or her own family, she had ruined their chances at love and her own life. Lisa keeping this secret had shut the door on them, closed it, and she had never looked back. He hated like hell that she had gone through all that. The part of him that cared, fuck it, hated that another man had abused her so badly. Damn it all to hell, he thought. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. His hands had clenched under the table and he wanted to rip the table off the floor, wrench it from its mooring and throw it across the room. He tried to keep his anger in check. If
she had only spoken up? Told the truth.

  Lisa just lowered her eyes. She sensed Gio’s anger although he was trying to hide it from her. She knew him too well. And she knew his anger was directed at the situation, and her as well, for keeping silent so long. She couldn’t blame him. He might not even believe her and again she couldn’t blame him for that either. So, she turned her hands over, so he could see the underside of her arms.

  Burn marks. Old ones, from a cigar, or cigarette.

  Again Gio’s stomach rolled. Her body was marked, permanently. Why hadn’t she gotten out? Run? Come to him sooner? So much time had passed.

  He'd gasped to see her skin marked this way. But was that proof enough? Surely she hadn’t marked herself. He just didn't know. And that was the quandary he was in as he flew home to help his brother, Blaze, out of a predicament in Tennessee. He'd left Lisa sitting in prison. Her hearing wasn't until Thursday. Four days away. She could wait until then. He'd waited much longer to hear the truth. As he put his seat in the upright position for landing, Gio still wasn’t sure he was hearing all of it. He had a bad feeling that he hadn’t heard the worst of it.

  "Well, what are you going to do?" Andreas quipped, head leaning on tented fingers under his chin. He was just as floored as Gio by all of Lisa's revelations. The moment Gio told him her tale, Andreas had friends in New York digging into Lisa's past, Albert’s too, to see if everything she said was true.

  Four days later, still in Tennessee, they both sat across from each other at an airport restaurant waiting for their respective flights. His left in forty-five minutes for Tampa, and Gio’s left in an hour for New York. Lisa's hearing was this afternoon.

  "I still don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. But, I did say I would let her know my decision in person. I, at least, keep my promises." Gio sipped his coffee, while Andreas ordered another.

  He heard Andreas' snarky laugh. "True. When you told me what was going on, I had one of our friends do a bit of digging."

  "What? Why?" Gio was shocked.